On sluts and casual sex

I've had a lot of casual sex in my life, especially over the past few years when I really came into my own sexually. It's not something I discuss at length with just anyone, though I am fairly open about things if anyone asks. It's just not something that's "acceptable" by our standards today, and anytime I do discuss it with someone I don't know well, the conversation seems to flow in a jokingly apologetic fashion, as if to say, "My god, don't you feel slutty?" "Oh, I know this is bad, but I'm such a rebel I'm doing it anyway! Isn't that exciting?"

Well yes, it is exciting, but not because it's forbidden or bad or wrong. It's exciting because I like to have sex, plain and simple. I like to have lots of different kinds of sex with lots of different kinds of people; it's exciting because I like expanding my experiences and horizons; it's exciting because it gives me the chance to push my boundaries. And if by "slutty" you mean "open to many sorts of experiences", "sexually adventurous", and *gasp* "actually enjoying having sex", then yes, I do feel that way.

What I am not is immoral, sick, self-destructive, or incapable of commitment. I take safety very seriously, never take risks that I am not comfortable with or that would put me in real danger, and have had good emotional connections with many (though not all) of my partners. This is not, I should add, something that is vital to "good" or "moral" sex in my opinion; I've had some amazing experiences with one-night stands who I never spoke to again. The whole idea of sex as this huge deal that must be treated with almost holy reverence is ridiculous. Yes, sex can be sacred, and has been for me on many occasions. However, it is also silly, messy, dirty, clumsy, and hilarious, and in the end is just one more way for two (or more!) people to interact with one another as human beings, no matter the depth of emotional involvement. I do think that commitment is important, but simply not something that is necessary for a sexual encounter or three.

The whole concept is expressed very eloquently in this post by Greta Christina, and I don't have a lot to say on the subject that she hasn't already expressed other than I'm glad that I've come to all of these realisations early on in life. I have nothing to be ashamed of, and yes, I will own my slutdom. I also will continue to happily pursue any guys or gals who catch my fancy, with the full blessing of my girlfriend of just over a year. Fun and exciting? Yes. Unconventional? Most certainly. Immoral? Absolutely not. As long as everything is safe, sane, and consensual (a theme you will hear repeated throughout this blog), I am of the firm belief that everyone is entitled to all the fun they can handle, and have no plans to change anytime soon.